150 Friends to last a Lifetime

Where have you made your greatest friends? Usually it’s from a common church group, neighborhood, or school. But friends are one thing and having a very best friend is another. Through challenges, good times, and heartaches good friendships either endure or crumble. That’s where you truly get to know if you’ve made a friend for life is when you’re going through those difficult times.

I have had the opportunity to make many true and lasting relationships with many people. Although there are a group of people 150+ that have stayed and will ever remain some of my truest friends for life. I made those friends in a new country, speaking a new language, and in very difficult circumstances. I know everyone that feels that they had the best mission but I know that Barcelona Spain was the perfect place in the world for me!

For those of you who are not aware of what a mission entails let me sum it up: living with strangers, talking with strangers, working tirelessly with strangers, and having the best time of your life. There it is – all you need to know! First the living with strangers part! I knew that I could be married to someone for the rest of my life – you know how? I was joined at the hip to a companion I was to remain with 24 hours a day. Unlike picking a husband I had no choice in who I got. But luckily I always got someone I learned to love and who learned to love me.

Why is it that when you serve with other people you become bonded to them? Whether it be a school project in which your grade is literally tied with theirs or in my case on a mission where we were taken from everything we knew and put in to the same situation. You learn to adapt, grow, and bond with those around you. It wasn’t till after I was home that I realized how quickly I would bond with not only someone I married from my mission, but the rest of those missionaries that came home and have remained my friends in good and bad times.

Since Allan and I had the same mission in Spain many missionaries have come to visit us throughout the years. I think it’s easy since they know both of us and we have been so pleased to welcome them in to our home and reminisce about our short service. Many of them have also come to our aid especially when we needed it the most which is what I’d like to share.

Early on in our marriage Allan desperately needed a part time job that could supplement our income while we went to BYU. A good friend and former missionary Willard Richards was also attending BYU at the time. Allan ran in to him while on campus and told him that he really needed a job. Will then suggested that Allan be a T-Mobile Representative like his sister was. He then gave Allan his sister’s number and advised him to call her to see if he could get a job. He did call her and was hired almost as quickly as he had made the call. Little did we know that a job in the cell phone industry would sustain us through 5 years of marriage. It was such a simple thing but what a difference it has made in ours!

Over a year ago we had a mission friend Lance Andreason and his wife move in to our city. We were excited to have someone close. Their first month here we had them over for dinner with the promise that there would be more game nights and dinners to come. But we became busy and quite literally forgot about getting together.

This last fall Allan and I were struggling deeply with him being out of work and going back to school, and I working full time trying to provide for our family. On a week where we literally had very little in our cupboards I was surprised when there was a knock on the door in the middle of the day. There at my doorstep was Lance and his wife along with their baby. In their hands they held a big cardboard box of food. Lance works for Stouffers and had brought us frozen dinners, juice boxes, treats for the kids, and many more things. I was so surprised and a little embarrassed that it had been a whole year since we had seen them. They acknowledged that they knew we could use the food. I was overcome with gratitude and love for them. Along with the food was an invitation where we spent another dinner together. After they left I found a $20 bill they had tucked under one of the boxes. I got down on my knees and thanked God for this miracle.  

On my mission we were able to be cared for by very loving couples that were also serving but were older in age and wisdom. They willingly chose to be there rather than being with kids, grandkids, and the luxury of retirement. I have always been impressed by that. There was one couple in particular that I grew especially close to toward the end of my time in Spain. They treated me like a daughter and even surprised my companion and I with a coveted microwave!

Since returning home they have attended my wedding, my kids baby blessings, birthdays, and have always made a point to call me throughout the year to see how I am. The Hansen’s have been part of my life since Day 1 of meeting them. They have sent cards, Christmas gifts, and invitations to their vacation home in Mexico. We have met on a few occasions for dinner where they continue to uplift and give encouragement just like my own parents would. We recently met and spent hours with them. We talked, ate, and laughed about all of the memories we have had. It has already been the highlight of the New Year and my inspiration for this post.

In life we make friends and although distance and time separate us, our true friends will always be there in our time of need. Here is just a very small example of three different mission friends who have had a very large impact at difficult times in our lives. I am forever indebted to those who I have served with and I know no matter where I go I will always have them as my friends. Thank you God and thank you missionaries of Barcelona for blessing me in ways I could never see.   

BOOM Go the Resolutions!

Caution: New Years Resolutions may combust!

It’s that time of year again, a time where we recommit to writing or at least mentally taking note of the goals we want to accomplish this year. But I ask you and myself why? Don’t we make that goal to lose weight and then after a day or two of starving ourselves go back to eating the same old stuff? Don’t we write down a few goals only to lose the paper it was written on therefore annulling (at least in our mind) our agreement to work on those goals?

I am like many of you. I make goals and then a few days, weeks, or on occasion months go by and all of those goals are lost and gone. Then when the end of the year comes around I feel guilt and then vow to do my best for the next coming year. Not only are my lists of goals long and arduous but they end up being absolutely unreachable. Then I hem and haw when I can’t fulfill them and feel self pity.

As a teenager my dad had us all sit down on New Years Day and write down our goals for the New Year. One year my dad explained how we could literally write down the blessings we wanted that year and seal them in an envelope to read the following New Years. When I opened it there were many goals I didn’t even know I had written down.

I am a firm believer in writing down goals but through the years I have learned a few things, specifically when it comes to “New Years Resolutions.”

1 – I only write down 3 things that I want to see happen for that year. If you are more/less ambitious you can add or subtract to this list. I use 3 because I feel like they are things I can have a grasp on at all times.  I sit down with my spouse and together we create a list of 3 things we want to see happen. One year a goal included taking a vacation alone. After a lot of saving, planning and hard work we were able to go to Hawaii for 9 days alone! This was satisfying on a number of levels.

Another year one of my goals was to pay off a pesky debt. It literally took all year to do but by the end of the year we had paid it off. See that’s the thing about having 3 goals. Usually you’re able to wrap your head around them easier and to monitor them. My lists before of 20 plus goals were hard to manage and track. They rarely were accomplished which would explain the self pity and loathing. Another great thing about 3 goals is that they can last as long or as short as you need them to be. It could be something you do daily of something that will take you months to accomplish.

2 – I am a firm believer in writing your goals down and posting them everywhere as a reminder. Don’t do what I did as a teen and write it down, seal it in an envelope, and then open it up a year later. You will not remember what you put! Write it down in multiple places. On your calendar, in your phone, journal, computer saver screen, fridge, EVERYWHERE! Also make it look nice too so you don’t cringe every time you see it.

The more you look at it, the more brainpower you will use in order to accomplish it. I’m laughing inside because I am not an expert on any of this. In fact my expertise comes by failing so many times to accomplish what I wanted to that I had to come up with a system of how to actually achieve my goal. So you can take this advice for what it’s worth! Probably not much!

3 – Last the only way I’ve been able to achieve anything has been with the help of other people. No man is an island and when you are working toward a goal whether it is losing weight or learning a new talent you really need the help of other people to get you to acheive. I’m going to be selfish for a moment and give you a good example.  

I hate talking about weight – especially my weight. It’s always been a cause for concern because I’ve always fluctuated with each baby, holiday, and major life event. In October (and I’ll go in to detail in a separate post) I weighed more than ever before. I couldn’t quite get a grasp on it and felt listless. So my sister started a Biggest Loser contest. We all weighed in and made goals. I started off strong and found something I loved doing. Zumba! A lady in our neighborhood teaches the class and I was happy to be able to begin to love to work out.

Everyone who was doing the Biggest Loser dropped out within the first month but I decided to keep going. Thanks to a few friends who lived close they went with me to early morning classes and evening ones. It was fun when I was with them and it gave me the motivation to go. It’s been 2 1/2 months since then and I have lost 25 pounds! Although it is not my ultimate goal I am really happy with what I have accomplished thus far. I owe it all to my friends for motivating me and going with me to work out, and for my amazing teacher who pushes all of us in the class. Involving others to accomplish your goals will almost always give you success.

I hope that this was just fun and informative! I would love for everyone to feel good about the goals they make for 2011 and these are just a few strategies that have helped me achieve my own goals! What will your 3 things be for 2011?

Here’s to a Happy New Year!

Kattie

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me never ending traditions

Can you believe that we've come to our last day? I'm sure you all finished up your holiday shopping and are now partying with your family. That's what we're doing anyway. I first want to thank you for letting me share my stories. I feel like I've had lots of support and that most of you have enjoyed the 12 Days of Christmas also. I hope that in writing them they have helped and inspired you. How grateful I am to have written them and remember all the details of so many Christmas's we have been blessed with.

I wanted to make this brief so that you can read and get on with your own holiday traditions. One of my favorite traditions is reading from Luke II. Every year we dress up and we take turns being different people in the Nativity. Since we have an abundance of animal costumes, this year my children will be the stable animals in the story. We'll see how that goes, but I hope that you all do some kind of tradition that brings you closer to Jesus Christ.

Whether it be reading from the Bible, reading stories, or watching a religious video I hope it helps you to remember the meaning of this time of year. I know I will never be able to repay Christ for what he did for me, but I know that in every act of service, kind deed, or kind words, we are taking one more step toward Him. I hope you've seen how the many people in my stories and life have demonstrated this. My love goes out to all of you and I wish you a very Merry Christmas!

On The Eleventh Day of Christmas my true love gave to me 11 presents for each child

When I was only 7 years old we lived in a small condo in California. My siblings and I occupied the master bedroom and my parents took a smaller bedroom off to the side of it. We were in a small space but we were all happy, healthy, and excited for the upcoming Christmas. We had a friend named Rosie who was the cool relative that wasn't related. She would come and bring us treats, take us out to eat, and buy us things. We were spoiled by her! She wasn't married at the time so she had lots of time for us.

The night before Christmas we were all getting excited and we couldn't wait to have Santa come. My mother told us that Rosie would be spending Christmas with us since she didn't have anyone to be with for the holidays. So Rosie came over and we were all terribly hyper jumping all over her. I wondered what she would give me for Christmas since she always knew exactly what I liked. We gave her hugs and then went off to bed anxious for morning to come.

The next morning we awoke and went downstairs. On each chair there was a GIANT plastic holiday garbage bag that looked like a chimney on the outside. It was tide at the top and on each bag there was a name. We ran to our bags and frantically ripped them open. There was a giant stack of presents for each of us, eleven if I remember right. We jumped up and down with excitement. My parents had their own sacks to filled with goodies.

Dress up clothes, Barbie's, Barbie's kitchen, a red dress, and much much more. I got things I never asked for nor dreamed I would receive. I was so excited and jumped wildly at the sight. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Rosie smiling widely as we would bring up every present and proudly show her what we had gotten from Santa.

After we were done I briefly wondered why Rosie had not given me a present for Christmas. Little did I know that Rosie had purchased all of the presents in those Santa sacks. She had given us much more than material stuff. She served us and has been a great example to me of selfless charity. Even though we've lost touch with her I hope someday to thank her for what she did for us.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me 10pm at Target

It’s 10 pm and we are just arriving to our destination. I look around the car to see if we have everything. Sleeping bags – check. Flashlights – check. Food – check. Games – check. Any normal person would assume I would be talking about camping or a sleepover. In a way we’re doing that. We have just arrived at Target to gear up for what Black Friday will bring. We have our ads with big sharpie circles around them and money in our pockets.

We look and see other people sitting in their cars waiting for the moment when someone will emerge from their vehicle to be the first one in line. It’s a gamble. If you get out to soon then you have other perturbed customers who now have to exit their warm and comfortable vehicles to stand in line for 7 hours. No one is making their move so we gather up our belongings and head over to the front door of the store. Adults eye us as from their cars as we start to set up “camp.”

Then almost as quickly as we made our move, others start to do the same and now an empty line has turned in to a line of 20. I look around proud that we were the first to be up front. We were teens and really didn’t care what other people thought about us. Our spirits were high! Why shouldn’t they be? Earlier we had poured over the many ads and made our plans. My brother and sister and I would go to Target and my other siblings to Wal Mart.

My mother let us pick out our main gifts and then ran to an ATM to get us money. This was possibly the only day of the year where we could actually pick exactly what we wanted. We were old enough now to be more expensive and we couldn’t afford every day prices, but we could with Black Friday prices. So we planned out our routes and picked what we wanted. Now all we had to do was get them. That was the tricky part! To ensure a victory we had shown up in ample time for us to be at the front of the line so we could come out victorious.

We bundled up in our sleeping bags and we started to play card games. We laughed, told jokes, and drank hot coco and ate warm donuts. We didn’t even feel tired and we kept thinking ‘this isn’t so bad.’ But since we had arrived so early we had a lot of time to kill. I looked at my watch and it was only 1 am. 4 more hours I kept thinking. Our cheery dispositions were dampened over time and also by the snow that was now blowing at us.

Our moods took a turn for the worst when my brother knocked over the thermos of hot coco spilling it all over a blanket we were sitting on. Now we had nothing warm to drink nor did we have something warm to sit on. “Why did we decide to do this?” I said aloud. “I’m never doing this again.” Now it was around 2 am and more than 100 people were in line. People began to crowd in to our space and some literally stood above us.” I guess it’s time to go put all of our stuff in the car,” I directed.

My brother gathered our things and put them in the car while we held a small opening for him to get back into. By 3 am there were scores of people all waiting and buzzing about what was on their wish list. I had no intention to stand for 3 hours but knew if I moved my place would be taken quickly. Although it was a little bit claustrophobic the body heat from the other people did make it a little less freezing.

Now it is 15 minutes to 5 and people are literally starting to push. My siblings and I are smashed up against the door and our faces are pressed to the glass. “Remember,” I kept saying to them, “Josh you go get the games, and Jackie you go get the cart. I’ll get the stereos.” People were yelling similar directions to their own families and I was now feeling a sudden surge of adrenaline.

The doors blasted open and we almost toppled over each other. I found my footing and began to run while a man loudly said over a loud speaker “do not run.” I ran to the middle of the men’s aisle where the stereos were and literally threw my body over two boxes. People were grabbing at whatever they could find or get. I pushed the boxes farther from the chaos and sat on them until my sister arrived with the cart. Over a dozen people came to me and asked if I needed both stereos and I assured them I did.

When my sister showed up with the cart we put our things in it and went to find my brother. While my back was turned my sister said “hey that’s not yours.” I turned to see a woman trying to take a stereo out of our basket we were standing with. She dropped it, turned around, and walked away. Soon we were with my brother who had gotten everything else and we headed toward check out. We were the first people there and we paid for our stuff and walked out after entering the store just 10 minutes before.

In fact people were still walking quickly in but we were done. We got to the car and put our stuff in and began to already reminisce about our experience. Almost like a team winning a medal in the Olympics we patted each other on the back and were overcome with happiness. My brother exclaimed “this is the best day ever.” We were then received home by oohs and ahs over what we got. Despite how much I hated standing in line I was already thinking ahead to what we would do the next year for Black Friday.

I know it seems so superficial that we do this almost every year since I was a teen. I also know that people forget common courtesies when they’re put in these situations. I don’t support this at all and find that even now it’s better to shop online. What I do want to say is that all families have crazy traditions and fun stories to back them up. This is our tradition which has died over time, but we still re live those stories whenever Black Friday rolls around. 

On the Ninth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me 9 singing missionaries

I am homesick I kept thinking. I laid on the bed in the pitch black night fully clothed with a coat and a blanket over me. My feet had two pair of socks on them and I buried my head under the covers so my nose wouldn’t get icy. I peeked out a small window to see a few string of lights that were hung on a similar balcony across the way. I felt tired, cold, and terribly homesick. My mind wandered to all the wonderful things my family would be doing. They would be sitting around a gas stove sipping cider and listening to my brother play the guitar no doubt. They would be opening pajamas and then watching 24 hours of “A Christmas Story.” Not to mention all the delectable desserts and freshly baked rolls for their party.

I never thought I would succumb to jealousy but there I was hoping to be anywhere but there. It had not been all bad. During that month we had performed many Christmas concerts all over the city and even had our own Christmas party with food as close as we could get to a traditional American holiday dinner. I was spending my Christmas with people I had learned to love but for some reason I could not get over the feeling of dread as to what we would do all day.

I was a missionary in Spain and this was my first Christmas away from home. I wanted so badly to call my parents and say “hi, I miss you, come get me.” It wasn’t that I didn’t like my mission because I loved every minute of it. But the holidays were so difficult. I wanted to be with my family and friends to celebrate in the way that I always thought was best.

I fell asleep with anticipation and dread of the next day’s activities. Even though we had a free day until the afternoon we had no idea what we were going to do for that evening. No one wanted us around when they had family visiting or they were gone to their relative’s homes. No one would be in the streets to talk to and all of the shops would be closed. There was a reason that you spent the day with your family and we were forced to find refuge somewhere else for the night.

I awoke the next morning to go through our daily routine of reading, studying, and praying. My companion and I split up the chores and we spent time cleaning our apartment. Finally I sat down on the couch and let out a giant sigh. My parents had sent me a number of Christmas packages so I was more than excited to open my presents. It finally started to feel familiar as we exchanged gifts and sang some Christmas songs together.

Today was only 1 of 2 days during the year where we were allowed to call home and talk with our families for a half hour. It may seem harsh but it made talking to them all that much better when we finally did have the chance. Everyone had scheduled their times to speak to their families and because of the time difference I wouldn’t speak to them till later that night.

We came up with a few ideas of what we could do and decided to join the Elders to do some caroling. Music is such a powerful tool and I witnessed its influence on so many occasions and Christmas Day was no exception. My companion and I left to meet more missionaries to go and keep ourselves busy until the time we got to call our families.

We arrived at the subway stop we were meeting at and joined a flood of other missionaries which included my now husband Allan. That’s a whole other story! “What are we going to do?” I said. “We’re thinking of going to sing at the local hospital,” someone replied. So we walked to the hospital and chatted along the way.

When we arrived we asked an employee if we could just stand in the foyer and sing some Christmas songs. They were hesitant at first but reluctantly said yes. We had some really good singers and when we began to sing we had caught the attention of everyone there. People sat with their eyes closed and others walked up to us to listen and watch. All the emptiness I was feeling with being away from my family was replaced by music and an overwhelming sense of charity.

When we finished an employee came to us and asked if we would like to go and sing for some of the cancer patients in the pediatric unit. We readily agreed and followed them through a maze of halls until we found a brightly colored wing with toys that scattered the rooms. We quietly sang and walked through the halls while we stopped by rooms full of people. Kids looked up from their beds and parents held them tight as we sang and wished each a Feliz Navidad. We did this until it was time for us to go home.

I returned to the apartment ready for the “main event” which was my phone call home. I called home and had a wonderful time talking to my family. But when I think back to that Christmas what I remember most is how I felt singing to those children in the hospital. Music brings people together and in this case it brought me closer to people who were not my family but who temporarily took the place of my family. I am so grateful for the power of music and for what it can do for all of us. 

On the Eighth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me 8 ding dong ditches

When I was a kid we lived in Southern California. We loved living there because not only was it warm but we could see the firework show from Disneyland every night from our bedroom window. My parents worked very hard to provide for us. Yet no matter what our needs were we could always find someone who was worse off and needed immediate help and attention.

My father was over a small congregation at church. The congregation met in his native tongue which is Tongan. My mother and all of us kids did not speak any Tongan at all. Nevertheless we went to church weekly and listened to everything in a different language. I would like to say that we took advantage and learned to speak but we didn’t. We understand a lot more than we speak which is still true today. But when it’s not spoken in the home then it’s difficult to learn and my father was gone regularly.

To add to the chaos we housed two sets of missionaries that my mother was constantly helping. She cooked and cleaned up after them. She took them to appointments and helped with everything else. Those missionaries were incredibly lucky to be staying at our house! We loved having them because they played with us and read us stories at night.

I have so many fond memories of that house but there were a few memories that stand out above the rest. When my father was called to the congregation there was only a handful of active members and when we moved he had over 100 regular attendees. In that time he regularly assessed the needs of the congregation and what we could help with. My parents did not make a lot of money but have always given to those who needed it.

Right before Christmas my mother put together some beautiful Christmas baskets. It included candy, fruit, and baked goods to deliver to those who needed it most. They decided that we would leave it on the doorstep and ring the doorbell and run away. Ding dong ditching was a new concept to me. It was the first time I would be doing it and I wasn’t quite sure how to do it without getting caught. We had a fantastic time doing the first couple of houses and I felt I was getting the hang of it.

On the last house I came to I skipped up the driveway and to the door with a giant basket in hand. I wasn’t paying attention and I walked right up to the door and rang the doorbell. I didn’t realize that the door was open and only a screen stood between me and an older gentleman. Before I had the chance to run he looked at me and the basket and said in a loud voice “who is that basket from?” I stood very still and was not sure what to do. No one told me what to do if I got caught. I replied “umm nobody.”

He looked at me again and said “who sent you”? I was really panicking now still not sure what to say. I timidly replied “my dad.” I set the basket down cautiously expecting for him to yell at me but was surprised when he got up and walked toward the door. He opened the screen, picked up the basket, and then put his arm around me and squeezed me tight. I could feel his gratitude through that hug and it made me feel so good inside.

That Christmas was also just as memorable because we got Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas and in the very first hour of having it my brother took his stubby finger and stuck it in Teddy’s eye which made him break. Let’s just say that we cried a lot after that!

I’m so very grateful that even at a young age my parents included us when serving other people because it has had a lasting impression on me and my desire to serve. The experience of the ding dong ditching stands out and hopefully I can follow my parents example and teach my children at a young age that service can be fun and rewarding!